Five Royal Letters
by toobeauty
Summary: Alexander writes many letters to Hephaestion during their relationship; here you have five of them.
1. Red sealed letter

**TITLE: _A Red sealed "I love you" Letter._**

PAIRING: Hephaestion and Alexander.

RATING: R

CATEGORY: AU.

DISCLAMER: I don't know the people involved, no harm intended, everything is product of my imagination, but I wouldn't mind sharing my life with the blue eyed god.

NO BETA so all mistakes are mine.

FEEDBACK: comments are love! Yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

* * *

A flushed teenager saw the object of his deepest desire pass by and his cheeks got so red that he thought they would explode. The prince hid behind his mother's roses bushes because he didn't want to be seen. He didn't know how to handle what he was feeling towards his friend, especially because he was sure his feelings were unrequited, so he suffered in silence, trying to control the turmoil of feelings inside his young heart.

What the young price didn't know was that his feelings were totally requited by the blue-eyed youth; in fact, the brunette was doing up to the humanly possible to not show his feelings because he knew that his friend was destined to greatness and that he, the mere son of a General, would never be a good match for him.

So there they were a blond and a brunette in love with each other but suffering in solitude. But the gods were feeling merciful with these two young men because both of them were destined to greatness because one would soon become the ruler of the known world while the other would soon become the ruler of the future Macedonian king's heart.

Alexander's closest friends encouraged him to talk to Hephaestion and to tell him about what he felt for him. Ptolemy, always wiser and with more knowledge in things of the heart, advised him to come clear with his feelings so, according to the answer he got from Hephaestion, the prince would be able to love his brunette friend freely or, in the worst of the cases, he would realize that his only option would be to forget everything about him, get over the situation and move on with his life.

Alexander was not so sure to follow his older companion's advice, he feared that if he was turned down by Hephaestion, he would not be able to move on but he was also more afraid of losing their close friendship, that they had been sharing for the past seven years. So the sad young prince decided that it would be better to be Hephaestion's friend than a stranger in his life, at least as a friend, he would be able to see and speak to him.

* * *

Months went by and Alexander's love for his brunette did not diminish at all, in fact, it continued growing and it was so big that it didn't fit inside his heart anymore. His love was now so obvious, for someone who knew where to look, that it started to reflect in every action he did whenever his brunette was near: his longing looks when the brunette walk semi-naked after his daily bath, the subtle caresses when handing out things to each other and the deep and painful sighs when his own Patroclus read in his sexy baritone voice or he left the room where they had been together. It was a torment to be near Hephaestion and be unable to have it in the only way he desired most. The poor prince thought that he would die out of love any day soon.

Zeus, the father of all the gods, had a soft spot for that Macedonian princeling. He made him remember of his fallen hero Achilles who, out of love for his murdered lover Patroclus, became reckless and angry and that brought death on him. He decided that he would not let that happen again but he didn't want to meddle with their feelings so the best thing to do was to keep an eye on both of them and made their path easier whenever they found a difficult situation. The wise god also thought that true love always found its way between true lovers.

Aphrodite, who was passing by, saw the serious expression on his father's face and getting closer asked him what was troubling his royal head. Knowing that the brunette was her most devoted follower, Zeus confided her with his secret. The beautiful goddess clapped madly and added her blessing and a watchful eye on the soon-to-be couple, telling her father that she would help because both youths were perfect to each other. What she didn't mention was that her son Eros had a love arrow already prepared to hit the teens as soon as the perfect occasion aroused.

* * *

It was the last days of summer, the weather had been quite hot and most of the young companions had been complaining about it. Hephaestion couldn't be happier, he hated the cold weather with passion but he really enjoyed sunbathing and letting Helios warm his bare skin as frequently as it was possible. Alexander didn't care about the weather, he had been taught by Leonidas to tolerate any extreme climate and to get the best out of them. However, he preferred the warm and hot weather because it gave him the excuse to see more often a semi-naked blue eyed-Hephaestion. Lately, however, it had been difficult to hide his body reactions but luckily he had never been discovered.

Hephaestion was waiting for his next wrestling match, drying his sweated body with a not so clean chiton; this hot weather was glorious for him but it was also his tormentor because Alexander tended to wrestle with his chest bare and it had been difficult to him to stop his hands from caressing the soft and hairless broad chest.

So here he was, the Amyntoros heir secretly praying to all the gods that his next partner weren't Alexander. When Cleitus announced that the winner of the red group was Alexander, Hephaestion's heart fell to his feet, as he was the winner of the blue group, they had to wrestle against each other.

It had never been a problem but since some months ago, Hephaestion had not been able to control his body reactions whenever any part of Alexander's body got in contact with his during his weekly wrestling. It seemed that his nether regions were always aroused with the simple brush of Alexander's fingers or with one of his deep looks, looks that wanted to pin him to the floor and never let him go.

Both youths got ready for the last wrestling match of the day and the winner and his group would get a whole day free of training and studies. Needless to say that both names were being shouted by their team mates loudly, cheering and encouraging them to win. The participants were ready and everybody could see both of the participants were nervous, however no one could guess their internal reasons.

Strong fingers were wrapped around wide biceps, two pairs of eyes looked into their partner's and close mouths released short puffs of warm air. The wrestle was quite fierce, taking turns in dominating the other, fingers grabbed sensible areas and a furious blush crept up onto their cheeks.

Cleitus, who was outside the arena, saw clearly what was happening and a low chuckle abandoned his lips. Both teens were getting aroused due to the constant touching between their bodies and he clearly knew that the wrestle would end up in a tie. He shouted "tie" and both teens dropped to their knees, panting with difficulty.

Cleitus decided that both teams deserved the free day and let them go early. He also asked the two wrestlers to catch their breath while their companions took their baths. Alexander and Hephaestion agreed but showing their confusion in their eyes. Cleitus laughed loudly and he said that they would understand as soon as they stood up.

When they did, blond and brunette realized what Cleitus had meant, feeling their bodies clearly aroused. Hephaestion blushed so deeply that Alexander thought he would have a stroke and the brunette immediately ran away, towards his chamber. Alexander remained nailed to the floor but after some seconds, he ran after his friend. He needed to know if he was the cause of his friend's state.

* * *

The prince knocked softly on the closed door but he was not allowed to enter; his friend was begging him to leave him alone. But the prince didn't want to leave his friend alone so he entered and sat on the cot, without touching him.

Hephaestion felt the cot sinking and he curled himself tighter, hiding his head between his arms. Alexander didn't know what to do so he decided to follow his heart. He caressed his friend's nape until the brunette lifted his blue gaze towards the two-coloured one. A string of whispered "It's fine, Phai" made the trick and the brunette opened his eyes and he saw Alexander looking back at him with so much love in his eyes that he stopped breathing for some seconds.

The blond prince found himself with an armful of his friend who hugged him as if his life depended on that embrace. Alexander whispered sweet nothings in his friend's ear, telling him all the things he had been hiding inside his heart and assuring him that he would always be by his side if that was what he wanted. Hephaestion nodded against his prince's chest and Alexander released a sigh he didn't know he was holding.

Moments later, Alexander took Hephaestion's chin between his thumb and forefinger and kissed him tenderly on the lips; a low sigh left the brunette's lips and then he deepened the kiss until their tongues danced in each other's mouths.

They shared many more loving and reassuring kisses that evening and finally sleep caught them and they fell asleep together, sharing a bed for the first time.

Alexander, who had always been an early bird, woke up and disentangling himself from his friend, went towards the desk and grabbing a clean scroll, decided to write his first love letter; a custom he would have for the rest of his life, until his death.

_My dear Hephaestion,_

_I don't know if I am doing the right thing but I cannot and I really don't want to hide my feelings for you anymore. These last months had been a torture for me, having you near and being unable to tell you how much I care for you._

_I know that we are too young and that life is not written in stone but I would like to share my whole life with you; having you by my side completes me; being with you makes me happy; loving you makes me feel great._

_Spending last night together, just hugging each other, showed me that I am nothing without you …_

_I love you, Phai._

_Forever yours,_

_Alexander._

The prince sealed the letter with his signet ring and red wax, in fact it was white wax tinted by his own blood, the one drop that had fallen from his ring finger. He kissed the letter tenderly and put it onto the creased pillow so his Phai would be able to see it as soon as he opened his gorgeous cyan eyes.

One hour later, the brunette stirred in his bed and his hand looked for the warm body that had been spooning his all night long. But when his hand found instead an empty and cold space, he got really sad because he thought that all had been a dream. He turned again to his side, to hide his face in his own pillow, and that was when he found the letter. He opened it immediately and a warm feeling took residence in his heart.

He got up, washed and got dressed carefully, trying to look his best.

He had a prince to find.

He had a positive answer to give and maybe … more kisses.


	2. Black sealed letter

TITLE: _A Black sealed "Forgive me" Letter._

PAIRING: Hephaestion and Alexander.

RATING: R

CATEGORY: AU.

DISCLAMER: I don't know the people involved, no harm intended, everything is product of my imagination, but I wouldn't mind sharing my life with the blue eyed god.

NO BETA so all mistakes are mine.

FEEDBACK: comments are love! Yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

* * *

Hephaestion was devastated, he couldn't believe that Alexander had done that to him, the man who had said many times he loved his Phai with his entire royal heart; but he had, and this time the brunette didn't know if he would be able to go back from there.

Alexander had taken a new lover, a very young Macedonian blond boy with striking emerald eyes and a flawless and unmarred body. To put the matters worse, the new "toy" had a very big mouth and he didn't know when to shut up so he had been showing off around the palace and its surroundings, bragging about his relationship with the great Macedonian king. He had even dared to approach Hephaestion and asked him how he felt after being dumped and adding that he didn't want any hard feelings between them whenever they crossed their paths.

Hephaestion angered to the point to go and see Alexander and the General plainly asked his king to control his young lover. Alexander, listening to him with a smirk in his face, laughed loudly at him and left him standing alone in the middle of the throne room while he walked away.

The brunette Chiliarch looked astonished at his lover's lack of respect and love towards his person, so he decided that if that was the situation, he would take some measures to safeguard his heart and his sanity.

First of all, he moved his things out of the royal chamber and chose the furthest chamber to settle his new sleeping arrangements. He also decided that he would chose a different shift to eat or exercise than Alexander's so in that way he would not have to tolerate any of their presence.

He made those changes very early in the day and no one realized about them until Cleitus asked Alexander where his handsome lover was. Kostas looked at the black warrior with disdain because he had not noticed him sitting next to the king. The young man spoke up his own thoughts and Cleitus laughed loudly telling him that he was not Alexander's lover but just his part-time shag until the stubborn king came back to his senses.

Kostas blushed deeply and Alexander looked at Cleitus with a strange look in his eyes trying to understand why Cleitus had said that.

Alexander turned to his right to discover that Hephaestion's place was empty and he frowned because he had not realized that his lover was not by his side, as usual. Suddenly, it dawned on him that he had not seen his blue-eyed beloved since the previous night when he had left him standing alone after a ridiculous and strange lover spat.

He lifted his gaze and saw Theo entering the room; he called him and asked when his master was coming to dine with them. The nervous page answered that Hephaestion had already eaten and he was also sleeping. Alexander thanked him, having a strange feeling in his guts and let him go.

Time later, Alexander felt a hand caressing his thigh and going up towards his groin; his manhood reacted to the caress and he thought that his lover was being quite bold doing that move in front of so many people. When Alexander turned, he found naughty emerald eyes and not the warm cerulean ones he was so much in love with. The king pushed away the wandering hand and told Kostas off telling him that it was not the place or the time to be doing that. The young toy boy felt really chastised and remained in silence for the rest of the dinner.

Alexander submerged himself in his own thoughts and he didn't take part in the conversation around him.

In a moment and out of the blue, he stood up and left the dining room quickly, bidding a "Health to you all" as he was walking away. The presents looked at him surprised by the sudden attitude, and only Cleitus realized that the young king was feeling remorse due to his previous actions.

The blond entered the royal chamber quietly because he didn't want to wake up Hephaestion but when he reached the side of their bed, he found that it was untouched. Looking around the chamber, he realized that there were some things missing. Panicking, he went directly to their clothes trunks to find that Hephaestion's clothes were no longer there; his sandals and boots were also missing as well as his books and personal things.

The king fell onto his knees and cupping his head between his hands he realized what he had done and he could now understand what Cleitus had meant earlier during dinner.

He sat in their loveseat in the balcony, the very same seat where they had shared amorous kisses and made love quite often.

Selene, the night star, was hidden behind a thick grey cloud and so the king of the known world felt even worst in the dark.

He thought that he could go and ask about Hephaestion's whereabouts but after some minutes he realized that if Hephaestion had moved his things out of their chamber it was because he wanted to be alone. Going against his heart, Alexander remained on the couch, curled up in the chilly night and Helios found him still there when he decided to show his shiny face to the mortals behind him.

A king with reddish eyes and tousled hair appeared in the dining room, wearing his yesterday's wrinkled clothes. His two coloured eyes wandered around the room, looking for the only person who could soothe the pain in his heart. Not seeing him, he dragged himself out and back to their chamber. Cleitus, who was coming from his lover's quarters, stopped to inform Alexander that he had seen Hephaestion ridding on Auburn and heading south. Alexander knew where Hephaestion was going but he wouldn't dare to follow him. His lover only went to their secret spot on the lake when he wanted to think and Alexander had decided the night before that he would let Hephaestion pace their make-up if he decided he still wanted a relationship with the king. Alexander had also realized by now that if Hephaestion decided not to come back to him, he would be completely within his rights.

However he knew that he could try to explain his behaviour and asked for forgiveness. This was truly a "black seal" letter.

He announced his companions that he needed a couple of hours for himself so there would not be any interruptions.

He sat at his desk, looking towards the other desk in the room, now void of its writing utensils, scrolls and maps that used to fill its entire surface. He took a scroll and a stylus, the one that his Phai had gifted him many years ago. He started writing but his mind was faster than his hand and after the third crossing out, he decided to stop, clear his mind and think what he truly wanted to write.

After breathing deeply two or three times, he took a clean parchment and started to fill its surface with his untidy penmanship.

_Dear Hephaestion,_

_I know that I don't deserve your attention but I needed to write this letter with the only purpose of asking for your forgiveness._

_My dear Hephaestion, even though I know that I cannot call you mine anymore but that is how my heart calls you; please forgive me, I know that I don't deserve it after all you have tolerated from me but now I realized that I have been an insensible bastard._

_You are the most important person in my life and I love you, no one else, but you also know that if I take to my bed someone else it is not because I love you less but simply because it is in my curious nature._

_I know that it is not the best explanation but it is the truest one; I really don't know why I can't stop those stupid urges to bed anyone who I found interesting enough when I have the most amazing man by my side._

_I really hope that you can find inside your heart the tinniest reason to forgive me but if you cannot find it, you should know that I would never stop loving you._

_Forgive me for my lack of respect towards you._

_Forever yours,_

_Alexander._

The king kissed the letter and after mixing some wax with charcoal, he took his signet seal and stamped it onto it.

Hephaestion found the letter on his bed when he came back from his ride. The first reaction was to take it and throw it far away from him, it nearly fell down through the open window but it fell onto the windowsill and Hephaestion realized that he seal had been broken. He looked at it but left it there, trying to make his urge to read it to fade away. The temptation was kept away for many hours and it was like that because Hephaestion closed the heavy drapes that separated his inner chamber from that area.

Because Zeus was almighty and didn't want to see his favourite mortal warrior hurting so much, he made Alexander go to the dining room earlier and he found the brunette of his desire having dinner alone and being served by the very same Lena, the royal cook.

But Hephaestion was Aphrodite's protégée and she didn't want him to suffer either so she took a decision for him. She lit Hephaestion's dormant pain and anger towards his king, once more.

Alexander's heart sank to his feet when he saw his General leaving his plate still full and going out of the dining room. Lena threw a worried look towards the king but she didn't utter a word. She picked up the plate and, covering it with a cotton cloth, she headed towards Hephaestion's chamber.

Alexander went back to his room without eating at all.

The companions gathered around the table and while eating they brought up the problem between Alexander and Hephaestion. Ptolemy remained in silence but Cleitus, being always the loud one, offered his opinion and all the presents agreed with him. They all knew that Hephaestion was right and that he had the right to feel angry about the new lover, especially after Alexander's display of love and commitment towards him in the city of Troy but they also know that if Hephaestion didn't come back to Alexander, the young king would be quite useless. Even though Hephaestion was always laughed at by many of the companions, no one could deny the good influence he was on Alexander, especially when the young blond king was acting a bit irrationally.

They all decided that they would give them more time to sort out their feelings but if that took too long, they would intervene.

A month later, Alexander seemed like a bear with a sore head, unable to function properly because his best counselor was no longer giving him his opinion or suggesting a better option.

Hephaestion was pretending to be working in his chamber when a loud knock on his door brought him back from dreamland. A dry "Enter" was followed by the door opening and the tall figure of the black warrior darkened the entry. Black eyes set onto blue ones and for the first time the older man could see pain and distress in those blue pieces of heaven.

Hephaestion sighed deep and loudly and let the man enter without speaking at all. Two hours later both men abandoned the chamber; one with a heavier heart, the other with a clearer knowledge of the situation. However, Hephaestion had decided to cut the king some slack and tried to rebuild their broken friendship with his king, he knew that it would be difficult but not impossible. He also decided that he would start in that very same moment.

Hephaestion began by sitting near the king during their lunch and even though they didn't cross words between them, Hephaestion could feel Alexander's happiness, tingling his skin with pleasure.

During the following days, they began feeling more comfortable with each other but Alexander knew more than well that any innuendo or flirting would not be accepted, not even tolerated so he kept a cordial but caring relationship but never indicating that he wanted their intimacy back, even though it was what he desired most. He would let Hephaestion give the first step towards it.

Hephaestion's heart was in a constant turmoil; he knew he wanted to get closer to Alexander again but he also knew that he would not tolerate going back to that kind of open relationship; he realized that he would have to accept a future wife or wives to give him his heirs but lovers were a no-go.

Alexander was treating Hephaestion as if he were walking on eggshells but he gladly accepted Hephaestion's attempts to go back to a more normal relationship between them.

A foreign event would solve their internal problem.

A merchant brought his species to sell at the market and Alexander went to look for some love potion and he knew what he was looking for. The merchant, however, insisted in giving him another herb, more powerful and effective than the one Alexander had in mind. He also suggested that if he wanted to be sure of the dose or its effectiveness, he could take it himself first.

Reluctantly Alexander took it and decided to do that before using it with his Phai. He retreated to his chamber and prepared the potion carefully. He took a small sip of the beverage and noting happened, he took a bigger gulp and a sudden hotness invaded his body; he fell onto his knees and his hands went directly to his throat because he was feeling it closing.

He fell on his back, sudden convulsions shook his head and limbs from one side to the other, with a final thrust his body went limp while foam spilled out of his mouth and then darkness invaded his body.

Hephaestion, after thinking for a while, decided to invite Alexander for a ride because he wanted to spend some time alone with him and see how things could be mended. He walked towards his former chamber and knocked at the door but no one answered. That was really strange because the guards had assured him that the king was inside. He decided to enter without knocking again and, as soon as he crossed the heavy wooden door, he found his king on the floor, lying on his side, his eyes completely white and drooling thick white foam.

He ran towards Alexander and knelt beside him, cradling his head on his lap while shouting for help. While waiting for the physician, the distressed brunette cleaned his king's mouth and leaned over, whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

"Come on Alexander, wake up, open those beautiful eyes for me, please; my world is too cold without those warm beacons looking at me"

The still body looked like a corpse and Hephaestion could feel how it had begun to lose its warmth. Cursing the old doctor for his lateness, he decided to do something to save his lover. He took the royal body bridal style and set him on the bed, he loosened his clothes and cradling the back his neck with a firm hand, he applied his lips onto the soon-cooling lips and breathed deeply into Alexander's mouth.

He tried three more time without success and seeing Alexander's lips turning blue and a still chest, he begged for Aphrodite's help.

The goddess listened to her protégée's plea and decided to help. She touched Hephaestion's mouth and the General felt a sizzling sensation in it. Believing that the goddess was on his side, he attached his lips again to Alexander's and thinking about his love for the blond man in his arms, he breathed again deeply until white spots appeared in front of his eyes. Golden specks of light passed from one mouth to the other and a soft and warm golden light enveloped the lying corpse and Alexander came back to life with a sharp intake of breath. His eyelids blinked slightly and when he was able to open his eyes, he found Hephaestion leaning over him crying and smiling at the same time.

He gave his blue-eyed beloved a worried look and was about to open his mouth to ask what had happened when he found himself tightly hugged and silenced by warm lips onto his.

"I forgive you, my Alexander, but please, don't try to call my attention like this again" whispered the brunette against his lips.

Alexander smiled broadly because he had been forgiven; he still did not know the reasons for his forgiveness but it didn't matter in that moment because they would have a long life together and time to find out his lover's reasons. What he perfectly knew was that he would never again put his love in anyone else but his Phai.


	3. Green sealed letter

TITLE: _**A Green sealed "Missing you" letter.**_

PAIRING: Hephaestion and Alexander.

RATING: R

CATEGORY: AU.

DISCLAMER: I don't know the people involved, no harm intended, everything is product of my imagination, but I wouldn't mind sharing my life with the blue eyed god.

NO BETA so all mistakes are mine.

FEEDBACK: comments are love! Yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

* * *

The brunette was feeling restless, his blond and handsome king had been gone for a month now, doing some kingly things, and he missed him dearly, it was a bit curious because, after all, they had been apart before and frequently and sometimes their separation had been much longer than this time. And Hephaestion, who was not a needy man even though he was a very passionate person, felt like his king had been ages ago. He thought that he might be getting old, he had recently celebrated his thirtieth birthday, or maybe he was afraid … weird things happened without a logical explanation and he could be swept off this world without having the chance to say his lover a simple "goodbye" and "I love you".

To put the matter worse, he had been wearing himself tired because he hadn't been able to sleep well since Alexander was gone; he missed fighting for the blankets because nobody knew that the king was a hog blanket and it was more often than not that he was left uncovered in the middle of the night while Alexander was hugging the bundle of linen; or warming his ever-cold feet against Alexander's ever- hot calves in spite of the royal protest; he missed their pillow talk, one of the most intimate moments when they were just Alex and Phai, and not King and Chiliarch.

He missed sharing those little aspects of their relationship, things that made their love unique.

Even the food tasted different and it was not because Lena, the most talented cook they had ever met, was cooking badly now; the same treats had been eaten before many times but there was not a blond feeding them to him, with his own fingers and between stolen kisses, arising all that sexual tension that only that kind of intimate feeding generated in both of them. Luckily that kind of tender feeding always ended with a marvelous, long and sensual all-night-long lovemaking.

The brunette sighed deeply after remembering all those tender moments and he thought that even the sun did not warm him up as usual or that the moon was bright less than ever as if it were pointless to shine when the king of the known world and of his heart was not there to give and receive Hephaestion's kisses under the stars.

Hephaestion tossed and turned once again on the big empty bed and hit the pillow roughly as if his blows could lessen the pain mixed with anger that he was feeling in his heavy heart.

He decided to get up even though it was still too early but he already knew that he would not be able to go back to sleep again; he would use that time to catch up and finish that paperwork he had not been able to read as he had been daydreaming about his lover.

When Eos announced the new day, Hephaestion felt a bit better thinking that he had been able to survive another day without his beloved by his side and that it was a day closer to his return.

But even though he was constantly busy, his days went by so slowly that they seemed to have stopped at a point.

His itchy behaviour had been spotted by his companions; the always present detractors were amused with this; his friends, however, were worried, it was quite unusual to see him snap at a simple and innocent comment. While the former teased him and spoke behind his back; the latter offered him their silent comfort, a warm hand on the shoulder or a knowing look letting him know that they understood what was going on.

A messenger arrived during the middle of their morning meal and the young page went directly towards Hephaestion with two letters that he handed out immediately.

Hephaestion took both scrolls and opened the one with the royal seal, he read it in silence and when he finished , he told the rest of the companions what the latest news were about. He also gave the letter to Eumenes so the royal secretary could file it with the rest of the official correspondence.

Craterous asked what the content of the second letter was, with a smirk in his face. Hephaestion lifted his gaze, arched an eyebrow and he simply replied that that letter was for his eyes only. The tall warrior looked at the General with jealousy in his dark eyes because he would never be what Hephaestion had always been to Alexander. A pregnant moment of silence followed that simple but short answer, no one daring to question him further.

Hephaestion put the letter inside a hidden pocket in his cyan cloak and continued eating, as if the indiscrete question had never been asked.

When the breakfast was over, the blue eyed-man went back to his chamber, announcing that he would be busy dealing with some paperwork and the new supplies list but that he would be available to see to any problem that could possibly arise while he was busy.

He entered the room and walked towards the balcony; from that spot he had a full view of the beautiful city beneath him. He sat on their loveseat and took the letter from the inside pocket. He looked at the green seal and he could guess the content of the letter before opening it, and he smiled widely remembering how all those codes had started.

They had come with that colour seal code many years ago, especially because Alexander was always too impatient and the colour of the seal could anticipate and give him a hint of the content. So there were five colours: red seal for love letters, blue seals for sad letters, green seals for needy letters, black seals for problematic letters and violet seals for hopeful letters.

Hephaestion opened the letter carefully, trying not to break the shield-shaped seal and started to read.

_My dear lover,_

_I am writing to tell you how much I miss you. You may think that I am like a teen with his first crush but some days I miss you so much that it hurts a lot. My hearty is heavy and lonely._

_Some of our friends are praying to the gods for our quick return, not only because they want to be back with their families and rest after this exhausting trip but also because they want to get rid of me. Perdicas has already lost his patience with my bad moods and he says that if I continue pouting, my lower lip will reach my chin._

Hephaestion smiled at the cute image, he had seen his lover pout for many years and the king had perfectioned that technique so it was impossible not to fall for that gesture.

_Nothing is the same without you, I feel as if half of my body doesn't work properly, my heart is heavy and I cannot sleep well, my camp bed is too big and empty without you, I miss your strong body spooning mine and keeping me warm, I miss your arms around my waist letting me know you are still there by my side, I miss our hands entwined over my heart or your head resting over my chest … I even miss your cold feet!_

_I miss your morning kisses that wake me up in the most wonderful way and keep me happy all day long; I miss your hands caressing my skin and arousing me, taking me up to the heaven and back, I miss your soft and demanding lips on mine. I miss making love to you and feeling our bodies twist together in the throes of passion …_

_I miss your witty remarks, your clever pieces of advice, your sarcasm, your jokes … and especially your words of love that let me know how much you love me._

_Unfortunately, things got a bit more complicated than what we had previously thought so I am sorry to inform you that I cannot tell you for sure when I will be back; the only thing I promise is that I will be by your side as soon as possible._

_Missing you like crazy,_

_Forever yours,_

_Alexander._

Hephaestion folded the letter and let it rest onto his chest as if, in that way, the words written in it could enter and nestle into his heart.

Some minutes later, he stood up and looking with dreamy eyes towards Alexander's possible location, he whispered softly:

"Come back soon because I miss you too, my Sun"


	4. Blue sealed letter

**TITLE:** _A Blue sealed "I hate you" Letter._

PAIRING: Hephaestion and Alexander.

RATING: R

CATEGORY: AU.

DISCLAMER: I don't know the people involved, no harm intended, everything is product of my imagination, but I wouldn't mind sharing my life with the blue eyed god.

NO BETA so all mistakes are mine.

FEEDBACK: comments are love! Yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

**WARNING: Grab some tissues …..**

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The king of the known world was a shadow of the man he used to be. There was a single cause for his sudden aging and despair, his loyal and steadfast lover and soul mate had left him alone to face a world that was empty and dark without his Hephaestion by his side.

It took three days and numerous pleas to convince Alexander to let Hephaestion's body free, the young king had been hugging and lying with the corpse for three full days, threatening everybody with death if anyone dared to touch his lover.

It was finally Ptolemy the one to convince Alexander to take care of Hephaestion's body so the king lovingly washed the now marble and cold skin with scented water; he also washed the brunette tresses for the last time and combed his hair neatly and with extremely care, disentangling any knot that could be there. He remembered about the thousand other times he had made the same thing and how his Phai ended purring like a cat and nearly asleep.

He finally chose a new azure chiton with golden embroideries and a midnight blue cloak to match it, the latter with the design of the Vergina Star on its front. He took all these from his best clothes and he dressed his beloved as a king, including some of the most beautiful jewelry too. However, the half pendant was removed from the still chest.

"I will take care of it, my love, and I will give it back to you when we reunite again" the sad king whispered into his ear after kissing the cold forehead.

The closest companions made all the preparations for the funeral rites; however, they knew that Alexander would do something more magnificent in the near future.

When the pyre was prepared, Alexander took Hephaestion between his arms and cradled him tightly against his chest. His slow walk towards Hephaestion's final rest was more than dramatic, many people had gathered to pay their respect to their most favourite companion, General and Chiliarch.

Alexander walked slowly as if he wanted to delay the moment he definitely knew it would be the last one together, at least on these lands.

The king saw people crying and clearly giving their homage to such a remarkable man, however he could not understand why they were crying when he was the only one who had lost the best half of his heart and soul.

He tenderly set the corpse onto the pyre and, after kissing the cold lips for the last time, he lit it with a torch. He then took few steps backwards and stood up straight, without moving, until the last embers had died out, some hours later. He knelt by the burnt pyre and gathered his Phai's ashes and put them into a gold box. He cradled the box against his chest and cried bitterly because he had nothing left to live for.

Alexander retired to their chamber and settled the box next to Hephaestion's marble bust and after caressing the cold cheek of the bust, he let himself fall onto the big bed that seemed bigger and emptier without his Phai spread like a starfish on the soft mattress. That image brought a tiny smile to his face, the first and the last that would be seen in the royal face for a long time.

Alexander slept for a full day after the funeral and when he woke up again, he headed towards the inner bath room and grabbing Hephaestion's dagger; he shred his golden curls, near the scalp, the same tribute that the great Achilles did form his beloved and fallen Patroclus. Then he shaved and wearing one of Hephaestion's dark chitons, he left the chamber.

The companions greeted him and invited to share their morning meal, without mentioning anything about his new appearance. Nobody knew how the king would react to any of their comments. Even Hephaestion's former detractors remained in silence.

Perdicas noticed Hephaestion's clothes in Alexander and he couldn't help showing a worried look in his clear eyes; he was afraid of Alexander without Hephaestion by his side.

The conversation was quiet but entertaining and Alexander saw himself involved in it. When he finished nibbling on his food, he announced that he would retire to the throne room to deal with all the things he had neglected in the last few days before Hephaestion punished him.

As soon as the last words abandoned his mouth, a somber look invaded the two-coloured eyes making them lifeless. He sighed deeply and added that he had always thought that if there was a person who could tell him off from the underworld, that person could only be his Hephaestion. Warm and tiny smiles appeared in his companions' faces and the king left them, dragging his feet over the marble floors.

Days went by and it looked as if Alexander was doing better; he was, of course, still mourning Hephaestion but his comments about him were scarcer. His friends were feeling a bit more optimistic about his current behaviour and none of them saw the storm brewing on the horizon.

One morning, three months later, Bagoas entered the royal chambers and found the floor littered with crumpled scrolls. He also saw Alexander frantically tugging his short hair while putting words on paper. His writing was so hectic that the Persian boy could listen to the scratches of the quill against the scroll.

He called Alexander's name but he was totally ignored, the king was murmuring unintelligible words in a very low and raspy voice. Feeling worried about the king's mood and attitude, Bagoas decided to look for help. In his way towards the main part of the palace, he crossed paths with Ptolemy who was just heading towards Alexander with some questions about their new campaign.

Bagoas spoke quickly about what he had seen and the long-nosed companion rushed into the king's chamber. He had to call Alexander twice to get his attention. The disheveled appearance made him wonder what the king had been doing but the lifeless look in his eyes got him more worried.

Ptolemy walked, kicking the great amount of balls of paper peppering the floor, and set his hand on Alexander's shoulder. The king looked over his shoulder at a pair of blue eyes but he drew his look back to the paper because those eyes had the wrong shade of blue.

"What are you doing Alexander?" Ptolemy asked with a calm voice.

"Can't you see? I am writing a letter" Alexander answered a bit angry.

"I see, and who are you writing to?" He asked again, afraid of the answer.

"To Hephaestion! He had been absent to today's meeting, in fact, he had not been attending many of them and he had also been too rude for not answering me when I have requested his presence" Alexander replied without lifting his gaze from the paper in front of him.

Ptolemy looked at him with his clear eyes wide open; the king was losing his mind and he was afraid that he would be following his soul mate to the house of death sooner than later.

The older companion was going to say something but he decided not to do it, maybe Alexander needed to release some of his well-kept pain and he had chosen that way. Patting his shoulder again, he left the chamber.

Alexander brought his mind back to the scroll before his eyes and after the turmoil of feelings inside his mind, he started to put his words in ink.

_Dear General Hephaestion,_

_I am sorry to have to write this letter to you but you have been neglecting your duties for the last months and it is my obligation as your king to bring you back to your obligations._

_It is easily seen how the Army is feeling your absence, there are always things that aren't replaced on time or at all; tons of paperwork invade my desk and you are not here to help me with it; my ink pot was empty yesterday and I had to refill it myself, can you believe that?_

_Well, I command you to take over your duties, I don't care if you are now living in the underworld; I really don't care if you think you cannot fulfill your duties now because you promised to be always by my side and this is now a big and blatant lie._

_I hate you because you have left me alone to face a world I am not prepared to face by myself._

_I hate you because you didn't keep your word and you didn't hesitate in following Hades under the house of death. _

_I hate you because I cannot be again the man I used to be because you are not there to see it._

_I hate you because our dreams have now become only mine and now nothing tempt me enough to follow them._

_I hate you because my days are bright less and my nights seem to have no end._

_I hate you because my life has lost you, who were my north, and I wander without knowing where I should go._

_I hate you because you are gone and I cannot do anything to change that._

_I hate you … I miss you … I love you…_

_Yours always,_

_Alexander._

After reading the letter, he kissed it and sealed it with a tinged blue wax, blue to match his lover's eyes and his own mood. However, the wax didn't stick and the letter ended open.

Ptolemy, worried about his king's mind, went back to the chamber and found Alexander asleep over the letter in his desk. Realizing that the letter had not been sealed properly, he took it and had a quick look at it. After reading it, he was more than sure that Alexander's life was coming to an end, and even though it was sad, he also realized that there was no life for Alexander without Hephaestion.

The blond companion promised himself to look after his king until the moment he reunited with his beloved in the afterworld.

Ptolemy covered Alexander's back with a thick fur cloak and seeing a tiny smile appearing in the royal face, he prayed to the Olympians that Alexander was seeing a healthy Hephaestion in his dreams.


	5. Violet sealed letter

TITLE: _**A Violet sealed "See you soon" letter.**_

PAIRING: Hephaestion and Alexander.

RATING: R

CATEGORY: AU.

DISCLAMER: I don't know the people involved, no harm intended, everything is product of my imagination, but I wouldn't mind sharing my life with the blue eyed god.

NO BETA so all mistakes are mine.

FEEDBACK: comments are love! Yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Tissues warning; angst and character's death. **

This is the last letter of this series, thanks to all who had read or commented on any of the previous letters.

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Everybody could see that the end of Alexander's life was near; the still young king was fighting one of his last battles and it seemed that he was losing it. His battered body, ravished by high fever and cramps, was giving his last blows but Alexander would not leave this world without fighting back.

What nobody had realized before was that his mind was still completely lucid; he only pretended to be gone so he could see and listen to all the things that were happening around him, while he was lying on his deathbed. The wise king saw his true and closest friends in real pain because there was nothing they could do; they had consulted the best doctors but most of them had agreed in the same thing: the king had lost his life wish, getting worse when he finally accepted that his Phai was not coming back to him. From that position, Alexander could also look at those who were already plotting against each other in their minds and ready to fight their former companions in order to get some power for themselves; that vision made him feel sick because it was disgusting seeing former friends fighting over a piece of land as if they were hungry wolves near little lambs.

He also felt sorry for his wife and their unborn child because he had never learnt to love her better and because he would not be able to look after the heir that he had been looking forward to having. He even felt sorry for the not so longer young eunuch, whose luck and beauty was running out of his hands like life was running out of Alexander's weaken body.

"I would really want to write a letter to my Phai, just to tell him that I will see him soon because I cannot tolerate this life anymore" Alexander thought while seeing the pandemonium surrounding him.

As the Olympians were on alert due to his imminent death, the secretary of the gods listened to his wish and feeling pity for the dying man, he grabbed a scroll and a magic stylus and went down to earth to grant the great king his last wish. He knew that no gods would deny this last wish.

He approached the dying king slowly because he didn't want to startle him; he caressed the feverish forehead, leaned over his former strong and broad frame, and carefully whispered in his ear who he was and what he was about to do for him. Alexander looked at the bright soul and smiled, nodding happily. He thought for a while and then he started whispering his words for his beloved Phai.

Ptolemy heard the low whispering coming from Alexander and approached his dear friend to ask if he was in need of something, but he sadly realized that the mind of the great tactician and ruler of the known world had left him again because he could only distinguish a lot of gibberish.

Alexander looked at his former General and he realized that he couldn't understand what he was saying. Desperately he looked at the gods' secretary and the gentle scribe calmed him saying that he was speaking a language that had not been created yet in order to preserve the privacy of his words. Alexander thanked him and turned his head towards Ptolemy and gifted him with a tiny smile.

The former blond General caressed Alexander's feverish cheek and leaned over to leave a tender kiss on the wrinkled forehead, trying not to release some of the tears that were at the brim of his eyes. When he stood up, he sent a prayer to the Olympians asking them for a prompt recovery of the king or for a quiet and painless departure from this world that wasn't the one Alexander wanted to live in anymore.

Alexander turned his attention back to his helper and continued dictating his letter. When it was finished, the secretary cleared his throat and with his deep voice he started to read in order to correct any mistakes or to add some extra lines.

_My dear beloved Phai,_

_It's been near eight months since you left and everyday has been a torture for me. After so many years together it was really difficult to live without you by my side. I have been feeling so alone and desperate that many times I wished to be dead so we could be together. However, I remembered what you once told me about making the gods angry unnecessarily so I stopped wishing that._

_It is difficult to sleep without you curled up in my arms; it is difficult to turn round to ask you something and discovered that you are no longer there; it is difficult to lie and pretend to be fine so everybody stopped asking me how I was feeling but indirectly asking me how I was doing without you._

_These last days had been more difficult than the others, my body is refusing to heal as quick as it used to do it before and the medicines I am taking don't do their job so I am not getting better._

_The rest of the companions are here, quarrelling and demanding an answer from me, they are eager to know who my successor would be and they are tearing apart our empire, the one we built together with so much effort and many sacrifices, stepping onto our dreams as if they were completely useless now because we are not there to continue them._

_I need you so much, my beloved soul mate, but I promise that we will be together._

_Will you come to fetch me? It would be my deepest dream come true, entering the Elysian Camps hand in hand with you._

_See you soon, my love_

_Your Alexander. _

When the reading was over and nothing was longer necessary, the secretary rolled the scroll and asked the royal blond what colour the seal was going to be that time. Alexander thought for a while and realized that it had been a long time since he had used that colour. He smiled at the scribe and whispered "violet", meaning hope, and the seal was stamped in the middle of it. The kind secretary brought the letter closer to the king's lips and he left his usual kiss on it. After that he asked the secretary if he could deliver his last letter personally. The scribe blushed deeply and, with his eyes wide open due to his surprise, told Alexander that it would be his honour to be the courier between the unforgettable Chiliarch and the Great Macedonian king.

A silvery light enveloped the secretary and a gust of fresh air filled the room and then, he suddenly disappeared.

Perdicas, who had replaced Ptolemy in his vigil by the king, saw Alexander smiled and his heart speeded up and he moved towards the dying man. He asked if he needed something and Alexander, looking at his clear eyes, said simply "Hephaestion".

The king smiled again because he listened to a familiar laughter and he realized that his last letter had just been delivered and read by his soul mate. When he saw the silver and warm light again and a pair of unmistakable cerulean eyes looking back at him; he knew that his Phai was coming for him.

Minutes later, the great king of the known world outstretched his hand into the air, holding his most precious ring, the one given by his Phai on his weeding night, and let it fall, not because it was no longer wanted but because he would get another thing more precious than that.

Breathing deeply once last time, Alexander abandoned the world that had seen him born thirty three years before to join his beloved Hephaestion in the afterlife and they would begin the life they both deserved, together, in love, as it always had been.

Finis.


End file.
